A Dark Night of the Soul…

This morning I have woken up feeling utterly exhausted and aching from head to toe. Yesterday evening I went out for a coffee with a friend, she lives next door and is married to my husband’s cousin. It’s the first time I have been out since my last trip to Luxor.

Just before leaving our flat I began to feel an anxious feeling in my stomach. I felt nervous at the thought of leaving the house by myself and asked Omar to walk around to my friend’s house with me, as he was going over to the bank anyway and could catch the service taxi from in front of her house.


I didn’t understand why I felt like I couldn’t go by myself, as I usually have no problem. It’s only a couple of hundred yards away! But I felt scared to be outside by myself. As we walked through the narrow streets between the buildings and onto the main road I still felt anxious and I was very ungrounded. I felt disconnected to the land and it felt extremely uncomfortable. The last time I had felt like this was on my last trip to the UK, last October. When I am ‘anchored’ somewhere, energetically I feel like I am living in the physical reality of that place, but when I am ‘in between’, anchored in one country but travelling in another, I feel disconnected. It feels like I am in a bubble and floating in that place as opposed to being rooted in it. My ‘anchor’ is imbedded in the energy layers of where I live. It keeps me there.

But walking around to my friend’s house I was feeling the same, except that I had not ‘pulled up’ my anchor, as usually happens when I am leaving a place for a long time. And yet I was feeling unanchored and my consciousness was a level up in consciousness. This is often the level of creation before it is manifested on the physical plane. But it took me until I was writing this to remember that!!!

Servant of the Nothing.

Servant of the Nothing.

As we walked to the coffee shop I tried to explain to her what I was feeling and it made me think of The Nothing, in The Never-Ending Story. The Nothing is utter despair, human apathy and the death of one’s dreams. It eats away at the world, leaving it as a hopeless, empty void. “It is the emptiness of what is left, it’s the despair which destroys the world. People who have no hope are easy to control, and whoever has the control, has the power.”

I was still feeling on edge, and not a little jumpy, which is most unlike me. I usually take everything in my stride, but this was different. I had no control over my feelings of edginess and fear. When we heard sirens, saw flashing lights and two police vans, filled with police men, passing us on the road I felt like I was in a war-zone. And yet I was the only one aware of it!  Everyone else was out doing what they always do. It felt surreal.

We got to the coffee shop and chatted for a bit but I was just not on the planet. After a little while Omar returned from Luxor and had a coffee with us. I spoke about what I was experiencing. It was as though I was looking at the present through the lens of the future, a dark future. The coffee shop was filled with men and boys smoking their shisha, playing dominoes and backgammon, or watching movies on the wide-screen TV. Everything was ‘normal’, but to my eyes they were unaware of what was to come. It was as though they were living a reality which would soon be immersed in death and fear, but they were oblivious of it. It was a horrible feeling and I kept feeling waves of grief and fear, and every time I heard a big noise from a truck, or lorry, on the main street across the canal I felt on edge, waiting for something terrible to happen. I knew that none of these people would be here playing their games, smoking and drinking coffee in the near future because there was a great darkness coming and many would not survive it.

Sinking in hopelessness

Sinking in hopelessness

Once I had told Omar of my feelings they dissipated somewhat and when we were finished with our coffess we walked home. When we got into our house, through the back gate we found that Omar’s brother had a terrible stomach ache, behind his navel! So had his daughter Aya!  11 year old Aya is the one who is the ‘Oldest’ soul of these children. She is the ‘teacher’ and is strong but energetically sensitive. Her father is attuned to Reiki and Gaia Method level 1 and is very susceptible to anxiety. So I wasn’t surprised to hear that they were struggling with all these energies. They are painful to deal with.

Today I am feeling exhausted, and keep feeling huge waves of grief. I know ‘upstairs’ (My guides and the Elders) have been telling me for the past year that the only people that would survive this coming time would be the people who owned land and who grow their own food. The ‘darkness’ would be about money, brought about by the growing violence and aggression here.  It won’t be a safe place for long and this period will last for at least another five years. It’s not going to be an easy time, but hopefully, something better will come out of it and Egypt’s feet will be set on a new path of development at last! We can only hope.

The Journey Begins by Cameron Gray.

The Journey Begins by Cameron Gray.

 Many people have done energy-work here over the past years so this is helping Egypt, and the Middle East to reconnect to the Mother consciousness. It has been a long time coming.  Healing can bring a dark experience before the light is born, but it will be born and Egypt’s rebirth will bring blessings to the entire region. Of that I have no doubt!

Picture Credits.

Anchor: Ayal Oren.


The Journey begins:


6 responses to “A Dark Night of the Soul…

  1. Hello Again – it has been awhile since you posted anything and I’ve been thinking of you , so I thought I’d “touch in” through cyberspace. (I did write you an e-mail a few weeks ago, but think maybe you didn’t receive it.) I wonder what it might be like there in Luxor for you at this time and was so interested in reading what you wrote in response to Zarah’s message to you. [Hello, Zarah!] Funny, she found her way to your blog the same way I did, through Tom Kenyon’s Orchidium message. Whenever I ask about time frames – whether for myself or other people – my guides always laugh! They’re a cheeky bunch.
    I like to work with Gaia by tuning in to what I believe we all have – my Earth Chakra – our own chakra in the center of the Earth… resonating my Soul signature there and sending love and intentions for peace and comfort up from there to places in the Earth. I focus on places that are “tight” or dense and dark, knowing that the people who are there, some of them, can pick up on that Love energy and perhaps it will help somehow. It looks like a blossoming of Light to help open the Human collective consciousness grid in such places… and also just offering comfort with a prayer for peace to grow in people’s hearts in these tight areas, knowing that those who are even a tiny bit open to the innocence within themselves will feel this. Children, Women and gentle men….
    Sending Light to you…Leilah (aka Nancy)

    • Hi Leilah,
      We have been really busy here for the past couple of weeks but now can sit back down again to write and reply to your email.
      I know what you mean about the time stuff, but as I work with a Master of Time, i.e, a history guide, I guess they feel that timing is important for my work. I have wondered about their precisness too, as I always felt that timing was difficult. I will post some of the channelling which they gave me re.time. I receive a lot of ‘history’ lessons this way. I think maybe because everything is so precisely timed with my work that they use this timing with me. When it is personal stuff they never give me a time frame but when it comes to my work then there are time ‘boundaries’ which I need to stay within.
      Of course we know that time only exists here on Earth!
      Yes, working with the collective consciousness grid is something I did before they gave me the Gaia Method. I used to do Magnified Healing everyday and found myself sending energy to all sorts of places, with the intention of changing consciousness. At the time I just did it, but didn’t really understand, until later, why I had been sending it to the places it was going.
      Now it makes a lot more sense. LOL.
      The Gaia Method is another way of working it. I know I always worked from upstairs to down, ie as part of the ever upwards connection. Trying to expand my consciousness up and out to as far and as high as I could. But after going to Egypt for the first time, in 2000/2001 that all changed. After that my whole life and whole focus changed. It became Earth focused. I can’t even listen to higher energy meditations any more. Its as though I reached a point where instead of reaching upwards I now had to work laterally!!! That has been a completely different learning. But I have to say it is much more real for me.
      I love hearing how others work with the grids, its really a lovely reminder of how connected we all are. Even when we know it in our heads; its lovely to really feel it.
      Lots of love to you from Luxor.

  2. LOL I too found this blog by googling for Tom Kenyon’s “Orchidium”, and then found the Travels in Gaialand from here. 😉 And this post reminds me very much of another Hathor message, “The Art of Jumping Timelines” (http://tomkenyon.com/jumping-time-lines). They say that there are two very real timelines (apart from those we choose to create). One is the Gloom & Doom scenario and the other is the New Earth. And depending which one we choose to focus on, that is the one we will help to manifest. This future you saw was definitely the Gloom & Doom timeline – but fortunately it’s not the only one there is. 😉 The Hathors say to remain aware of what is going on in the world, but keep holding the higher vision regardless of what we may see around us, which is what I’ve been doing to the best of my ability. Sometimes I do get discouraged when I see how people cut down trees everywhere, but I know it does not help to sink into despair.

    BTW, I live in Berlin, the capital of Germany, and it has been rather quiet here energy-wise for the last few days, except we have had heavy rains very suddenly immediately after very hot days. Probably a cleansing energy. 😉

    I asked my guides about Egypt and the things you saw and they said there’s a lot of “stuff” in motion at the moment – like a swirling motion -, and the best way to handle it would be to keep your own energy “above” it as it were, and not hold on to any of it. Because if you hold on to it (by identifying with it, fearing it or fighting it), then it becomes fixed in your reality. If you don’t hold on but just watch it from a higher vantage point, it will move on and change.

    That is what they say, but myself I am not so sure if that is so easy to do from where you are. Still you have your abilities to connect to other places and planes that can sustain you, and there is a lot of help if you ask for it.

    I’m a bit surprised that your guides give concrete time frames, like “this will last for another 5 years”. The ones I’ve talked to always told me that there is no way of predicting future developments with any kind of precision since everything is moving so fast and there are so many factors involved that everything you might have thought was going to happen can change literally any moment, and therefore the best thing is to focus on living in the Now. This advice has served me well … but I would love to hear what your experience with time predictions has been so far.

    All the best for you, and I hope you can move to a quieter place soon! 🙂 ❤

    • Hi Zarah,
      Yes I have read Tom’s Timelines too and found it very interesting. Unfortunately I think that the doom and gloom version is already in motion here BUT it is a necessary one! Years ago my guides gave me a vision and told me to write it down. It was important. They showed me a war in the Middle East. Huge bombs and men in turbans running in panic, looking for shelter. It was chaos. Then I saw the Golden Dome in Jerusalem. The dome itself was crumbling and falling apart, but growing up in the centre of the ruined temple, was a beautiful spire of light. ‘Out of the ashes’ scenario. The energy spire was a new beleif system of light which could only emerge once the existing ‘structures’ were destroyed. Much like the Tower in the Tarot!
      At that point in my development I had no conscious connection with Egypt and I had no idea what they were talking about, but I did as I was instructed and wrote it down.
      Now that I am here it makes more sense. and the events themselves are making question what Islam really is! Is it the Muslim Brotherhood version? Or is the version that they know! Two different versions!!!
      Part of my work here is around all of this religious belief and anchoring the new Islamic codes, the ones that should have been anchored at the beginning but which were not because the Arab mind, being a warlike mind, hijacked he Prophet’s work and made it their own version. Thereby ensuring that they continued to hold the power. Unfortunately, this foundation has supported an unstable house! Even the prophets fail when minds are too strong around them. The Golden Dome is built over a vortex of the Divine Feminine but is the power point of all of the three male religions which were born here. Something missing I think!!!
      It will be very interesting to see how this all pans out. Especially as the prophet Mohammed was actually a very loving man who had a respectful and loving relationship with the women in his life. Mush of what has been written about him is not the truth, so it is a bit of a mess.
      To me this all feels like a big clearing, albeit an unpleasant one.
      I don’t normally get involved in it as I am home most of the time, doing my crochet and writing. But this time I went out and that’s when I felt all of that.
      I was used to living in nice light places, full of lovely energy, but this place is no picnic!!! I have been doing earthwork here for over 6 years now and it is time to be moving to another place to reactivate that one and then join it to the work here. This has got to be darkest place I have ever worked in. But its all necessary! I’m good at going into the dark stuff, I just don’t like it very much! LOL I tend not to hol donto it, but let it flow through and writing helps me to do that. Then I keep going and just focus on what I need to do. I don’t worry about it too much and it certainly doesn’t effect me if I am not outside in it. But my guides know that I like to understand, when they have spent years telling me something I couldn’t imagine happening. So they give me a ‘taster’ of it and then I understand. I am an experiential learner!
      Re: timing. They don’t normally give me timing but this time it seems significant. It has come from a number of different sources so I guess this time things are already in motion and I will be away until this is cleared enough to come back to. I think they talk about time for my benefit so that I will know how long I have to do something. They told me before I came here that I would be here for three years and then I would be moving again. That certainly is panning out. Maybe because I work with a Master of Time that I need this info. Time and space are important in this work, because it involves layers of time within space. They have never been wrong yet when they give me a definite time and I usually have that confimed by an outside source if I doubt what they say.
      I’m not sure that bymyself I can change the timeline of this one! Plus I’m not sure I’d want to. If this has poitive healing outcomes for the country then so be it. It might be painful and hard but what healing isn’t? All we can do, like you say, is to stay ‘above’. Which I do, literally,because I live in a flat!
      Actually it has been an interesting experience moving here because we are so lucky in hte West to have such an awareness of light and what we can be, but here it is virtually nonexistent. Power, control and religion have kept development capped so that nothing ha changed. It is a very different experience to living in the west! None of that Light-filled stuff permeates this place in an easy way. That is why it needs so many healers to pave the way.
      personally I’ll be glad when its all over and I can relax!!!

  3. I just want you to know that I am with you in the etheric realms – we are all together and, as I’m sure you know, we can reach out energetically and “hold hands” and support one another. I’m here…there…everywhere… you are not alone. It is so interesting to me because yesterday (September 10, 2013) I was flat out exhausted. I felt like a floppy pancake – it was so odd. I could barely move. At last I was able to swim in the lake that I’ve been living on, but soon to be moving from. The water was quite cold but the air was muggy and hot. It revitalized me. I was floating on my back praying for assistance in releasing and transforming certain energies in all my energy bodies, with the awareness that it is a big undertaking that is for humanity, not just myself.
    I’m an American citizen living in Ontario, Canada in a beautiful, energetically pristine place. A good place to do Gaia energy work from. I am getting married next month and am going through an immigration process to become a permanent resident here. I would like to communicate privately with you but am not comfortable posting my email here.
    I’ve been wanting to tell you how I initially found your website a few weeks ago. I had read Tom Kenyon’s Orchidium message and was googling the “Ming ma” energy center. I had not heard of that before in Qi Gong and Chinese medicine. Your blog popped up because you had posted his message. I began to read your writings and felt an immediate kindred spirit connection and then read about your Gaia Method – and also was excited to see that you are a knitter and also crochet! I had a sudden, nagging impulse to teach myself to knit this past winter and am now so into it! Crochet is next.
    Anyway, I am saying Hello and sending supportive energy to you through the…well, I feel it’s a kind of energy grid that connects us who are holding and channeling Light for the Earth and Humanity. You are in a challenging place on earth at this time – I hope to “talk” more about it with you some time. Perhaps you can go to my website and send me an email, if you wish. (You also signed up to my blog after I signed up for yours – thank you!) Many Blessings to you, Sister-friend. Leilah (Nancy Leilah Ward, Soul Transitions).

    • Thank you so much Leilah! Reading your comment gave me goosebumps and filled me with energy. I will indeed email you. And thank you so much for the support. It is indeed a challenging place to work in but I’m good at dealing with the dark stuff. I just don’t like it very much. LOL!
      I am currently rewriting all the Gaia method stuff, which is why it is so sparce at the moment. I feel like I have a million pieces of experiential information in my head that I have to write up, but hopefully over the next few months, in between endless crocheting/knitting I will get it all done. I did have a website but found that I have made more lovely contacts on wordpress than I ever did on my website so I am using my blogspace instead. Its so much nicer. It feels more like a community than the website.
      I will check out your website and email you.
      Thank you so much for your energy. Nice to feel connected. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s